CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
