oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
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