i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
