i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
