I CAN MOONWALK!
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
