i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
