Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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