HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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