bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
