Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
