u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
