she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
