ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
