it wasn't lemon gatorade
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
