he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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