If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
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