but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
