Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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