My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
