So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
