the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
