I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
