Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize