Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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