I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
