I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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