You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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