Me. At least after what I've been through.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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