you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
