Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
