Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Randomize
