oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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