READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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