She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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