batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
