that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you win again, gameday.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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