Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
