There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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