Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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