i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
