you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
