and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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