I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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