whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
