I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
