i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
