I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
