I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
