Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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