he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
