He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
