With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
