I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
