At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
