Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
