You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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