So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
