mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
