Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
