it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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