My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
