I smell stomach acid.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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