I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
