its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
